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      Australiaโ€™s largest interior design, styling and renovation blog for the everyday Aussie. By former journalist and magazine editor Jen Bishop, the original interiors addict!
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Off Topic Tuesday: stop putting pressure on yourself to do everything by a certain age

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I used to be totally guilty of this so a Huffington Post article my girlfriends shared on Twitter this morning (20-something does NOT have to be 20-everything) really struck a chord with me. And I’m not even 20-something. I’m 32! But the crux of this article isn’t so much about being 20-something but about putting too much pressure on ourselves to do certain things by a certain time because we feel we should (and thinking we’re a failure when we don’t), and worrying too much about what other people think. I thoroughly recommend you read it.

When I was in my 20s I felt like I had to tick off absolutely everything by a certain age, and the younger I did it, the more of an achievement it would be. I ย got my first newspaper reporter job at 17 (and agonised over the fact I decided not to go to university in order to take it), got engaged at 24, bought a house at 25, edited my first magazine at 26. That year I also split up with my then-fiance. And one of the biggest things I remember thinking was WHAT WILL EVERYONE THINK? I thought I’d be married and have had my first child by 28. It seemed a good age to have done that kind of thing. But at 26 I was single and selling my home. That hurt.

Luckily, with time to reflect on the fact I was single, in a job I no longer enjoyed and with no debt or responsiblity, a huge lightbulb went off in my head and I decided I’d move from England to Australia. Previously I’d written myself off as being too old to up sticks and travel and that I’d missed that boat, but I realised 26 was actually very young. Problem was, I’d been 26-going-on-40! Ever since I’ve been here I have given so much less of a crap about ticking things off that list. Not that I’m not as ambitious as ever but I’ve put life in perspective. I got engaged at 30 and am getting married at 32 (to a man still in his 20s, damn him!), I’m renting, I’m earning less than I did for the last few years but I own my own business and I’ve found my soul mate. I am content. And you can’t put a price on that.

I used to think OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T GOT MANY FERTILE YEARS LEFT but now I also believe that to be nonsense. People don’t become infertile at 35. And nobody, at whatever age, is guaranteed to be able to have children, or for those children to be born healthy (I know this through the sad experiences of several friends) and what will be will be. I used to be obsessed with home ownership. Having been there done that, ย I know it isn’t life-changing and while I’d like that security one day and I think it’s a smart financial move, I don’t feel like a failure for renting. In fact, I’m enjoying living in a suburb I could never afford to buy in, while I still can.

Do you know how liberating it is to care less about these things and concentrate on what you already have that is awesome? I thoroughly recommend giving it a go! I look back at that girl in her 20s, in a rush to achieve everything by yesterday, and wish she’d chilled out a bit!

A few of Catherine Hassler’s top tips in this Huff Post article really rang true for me:

“Friendships matter — they contribute significantly to your health and longevity!! Ditch toxic friendships and put the effort into friends who inspire and support who you are and where you are headed.”ย  This is so true. I value my closest friends so much and clichรฉ or not, they are the family we choose for ourselves. I’m also seriously questioning a few people in my life who don’t support me as much as I support them.ย Anyone who makes you feel anxious, irritated or disappointed probably shouldn’t be in your circle.

“Have patience because opportunity and success come in real time. Overnight success is not possible and you don’t have to love your job to be happy at it!” This is a virtue I still need to learn to be better at!

“Burnout is not a badge of honor. Don’t try to do it all, focus on the 5% you’re great at and delegate the rest!” A while back, I realised all I ever said in response to “how are you?” was “BUSY!” How boring is that? So I’ve tried to stop that, even if I am. Because being busy doesn’t equal successful and it shouldn’t define you. Too many people I know do seem to think that being the busiest makes them the most important or successful. Balance is key. I’ve started saying no to work I know I won’t enjoy. It feels good. I’ve started getting into a better sleep routine. It’s doing wonders!

“Your parents may want you to do things the way they did them or the way they think you should do them. Follow your own path even if they don’t agree (and don’t worry, they’ll get over it).” Do NOT get me started on this one! We’re grown ups. While we should respect our parents, we should also appreciate that we are independent adults and stand true to what we want to do and how we want to live.

And last but not least: “Stop comparing yourself to everyone else and being so hard on yourself. Don’t use Facebook as a torture device. Quiet your Inner Mean Girl or Inner Mean Dude and be your own best friend. Seriously, be nice to yourself!!!”ย  We’ve all been there, right?

Seriously, go and have a read of the article. It was great food for thought for me today! Stop focusing on what you haven’t done yet and what you don’t have yet, and be proud of what you have done and grateful for what you have got. Happy Tuesday!

 

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July 16, 2013

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New @kmartaus home has dropped! Hit up the link i New @kmartaus home has dropped!

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Take a scroll through the stunning new art on line Take a scroll through the stunning new art on linen collab from @grottilotti and @linen_house We love it! โค๏ธ

And even if you're not in the market for new linen, the bird cushions would look fab on a sofa. The pink one might be finding its way to my house...

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I'm absolutely loving the simple yet on trend scal I'm absolutely loving the simple yet on trend scallop design and colour pop of these lampshades from new brand @soffle_lights 

Read founder Sophie Cartwright's top tips for transforming your rental home on the blog now. Via link in bio.

Which colour is your fave?!

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While we featured a gloriously colourful home on M While we featured a gloriously colourful home on Monday, this one is a masterclass in serene neutrals! And how good is this bunk room?!

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Washable rugs, eco-friendly play mats, reversible Washable rugs, eco-friendly play mats, reversible linen, gorgeous wallpaper and the chance to win a beautiful bouclรฉ recliner chair!

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A glass shower screen is not the only option! In A glass shower screen is not the only option!

In this 80s villa reno, @trentinidesign took inspiration from an archway typical of the era and used it throughout the home.

The bathroom was transformed from a classic three-piece set up that included a shower, bath and vanity. Kathryn removed the bath and split the room in half and designed an arch to sit between the two zones. 

โ€œI wanted something spectacular. Rather than having a vanity with a piece of glass like you would typically see, I was really trying to push myself as a designer. It was costly but it worked out well and the feedback has been great."

Swipe for the before and follow the link in bio to see the rest of this home.

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One half of popular parenting podcast @wedonthavet One half of popular parenting podcast @wedonthavetimeforthis, turns out former Neighbours actor @gemma_peanut is even more multi-talented than we thought! Will you check out the joyful and colourful reno of her holiday home (and airbnb) @yo_caba_caba?!

Head over to the blog via link in bio to read all about why she went bold and full of pattern in this project, which is a stark contrast to her zen and neutral Northern Beaches abode.

There's also plenty of details about where things are from etc.

"Iโ€™m not an interior designer so I just chose what I liked and followed my gut. Ultimately this home has been an opportunity to explore my alter ego โ€“ it allowed me to do things that I wouldnโ€™t normally do.โ€

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Not many friends in life fall into the unofficial Not many friends in life fall into the unofficial family category and they're a special gift. So ends three weeks with @danisteve81 who left her husband and son in the UK (I'm forever grateful they lent her to me!) to come and cheer me up and help me in the most practical ways after I spent Christmas and New Year in hospital. There were tears and I miss her so much already but how amazing to have had all that time together as adults. Such a rare treat and would never have happened without having been through something so challenging. Silver linings and all that. So many other friends have also been incredibly thoughtful and kind. There aren't many times I'd say this without cringing but I am 100% blessed!

I still cannot believe we have been friends since we were 12! 12! Are you still close with your childhood besties?
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About Jen Bishop

Jen Bishop is our owner and publisher and an experienced journalist and editor. Interiors Addict has been her full-time job for more than 8 years. She is married to Damian and mum to Sebastian and Charlie.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. AvatarJacqui Scruby says

    July 16, 2013 at 5:29 pm

    My husband suffered from this so badly that he proposed on his 30th birthday – obviously leaving it until the last possible minute to actualise his ‘before i’m 30 goal’. Just to annoy him I said “yes – with an asterisk – but we’ll discuss fine print and I’ll give my final answer tomorrow” (when he’d be 31) – just to piss him off! Great start to married life!

    • AvatarJen Bishop says

      July 16, 2013 at 5:35 pm

      Too funny! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. AvatarCath @mybeardedpigeon says

    July 16, 2013 at 8:19 pm

    It’s crazy isn’t it- having such number deadlines. I think it’s better to wait with everything. I travelled after school for years, in my late 20’s I finally went to uni and felt so old! But I could not have done the degree I dd at 18. And I had to kiss all those frogs to find my Prince!

  3. AvatarBrooke @ TheLoverList says

    July 17, 2013 at 12:17 pm

    Reading this post just gave me the perfect moment to stop and reflect. I’m 33 now and have made some amazing life decisions – moving to Sydney’s lower north shore, asking my boyfriend to marry me, adopting some furry kids, travelling the world. I can feel a spin-off post coming. Watch this space!

    • AvatarJen Bishop says

      July 17, 2013 at 4:50 pm

      Send me a link if you do! It seems to have struck a chord with a lot of people!

      • AvatarBrooke @ TheLoverList says

        July 18, 2013 at 11:47 am

        Here is the link – http://theloverlist.com/2013/07/18/take-the-pressure-down/

  4. AvatarEmilia says

    September 10, 2013 at 9:46 am

    I know this is an old post but I had saved it and just managed to read it. It struck many chords!! i worked like s crazy woman in my 20s and 30s to build my career to then give it all up 2.5 years ago to start my own business which is a very slow moving beast as expected. I am going to hit 40 in the next few months and have these freak attacks that I will not have made a success of it by that age which is what I ideally would have wanted. I know i just need to let go and let it be. Very scary but end of the day it is what it is. Great bits of advice from the article which I will read in more detail.

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