In his now regular guest post, my fiancรฉ makes me sound like a crazy lady. Again.
Iโm sure it happens in every household. Well, Iโll console myself with the thought that it happens in every household. Donโt you dare ruin it for me and tell me otherwise. Thatโs not what the comment section is for – Iโve been assured that the comment section is simply for agreeing fans. And back on topic…
When I left the apartment this morning, it looked like the one I was familiar with and had grown to love. An apartment that had everything I needed in it. A space I could call home. Over the last 12 hours I had grown accustomed to it. I developed a deep attachment. And then I came home.
Home to a different apartment. There were things that were the same, but there were also things that had changed. Furniture had been added (a new Jonathan Adler chair in the bedroom, if you’re asking), cushions had been stacked (damn cushions) and my stuff… it was… somewhere else.
Since Jen started working from home, every time I leave the apartment I know that I will come home to a new one. Each time something is different. Sometimes whole rooms have changed. But Iโm used to it now. I know that I will grow to love it in the 12 hours I have until I leave again, never to see the apartment as it is ever again. But there is one thing that does bug me. My stuff disappears. It gets sucked into a black hole, vanishes in a vortex, is caught in the big bang. Something. But the one constant is that the stuff I had is now not where it should be.
Books I leave stacked by my bed, the Red Bull Racing cap I had on the coffee table (trust me, it looks good there), the towel I had on a chair, the laptop I left on the dining table. Iโve heard all the reasons. โYou donโt put bloody caps on the coffee table.โ Whatever. โThe laptop has a home, and itโs not where we eat food.โ Blah, blah. โThe reason you have a bedside table is for your damn books!โ Sure thing, fun police.
I started to develop some tricks to make sure what I left around would be around when I came back. Headphones – in a draw. Books – under the bed. Laptop – under a book… still on the dining table. Red Bull Racing cap – still on the coffee table. I still havenโt found a good place to hide that one.
But then I had an epiphany. It came to me in the form of GQ. Now, I know what I read is bible-type stuff. Hell, even I used to write for GQ. Hmmm, scrub that last bit, that is probably not going to help me win this argument.
Iโll cut to the chase. In the latest issue of US GQ, there was a picture of books on the floor of the bedroom and a towel on a chair. Game. Set. Match. If GQ says I can do it, Iโm gonna do it.
Sorry, were you looking for a meaningful post? Youโll still be searching then. While youโre at it, see if you can find my cap. Thanks.
Comments
LOVE it! Hilarious and, knowing Jen of old, I can so imagine her saying those things ๐ (yep, and I say similar myself!)
Glad you enjoyed it Kel! ๐
I’m always moving things in my apartment too, and adding… (not so much subtracting). My partner is used to it now! Finding room for his “model cars” etc is a challenge! haha…
I suggest a room dedicated to model cars. In my professional opinion, that would work quite well…
You forgot to mention when I visit and turn it upside down.
Next time I visit that Red Bull Cap is going to be “re-homed”.
I also forgot to mention you’re not welcome in our apartment anymore ๐
I feel your pain Damo. Apparently everything at home has a place…i’s just that my stuff for some reason losses it’s place and I have to find a new place for it…usually the bin!